02 Apr Relationships and Money

Hi there!

Welcome to the discussion on the hot topic of relationships and money. Let’s investigate it more deeply….

‘How we do money is how we do everything.’

(Kendall SummerHawk)

For me, Money is one of the most intimate relationships we can hold inside ourselves

What does this mean?  Before it exists as dollars and coins, money is an energy form that we hold inside of ourselves.  It’s a creative force. There’s US, or the original essence of us and then straight after that there’s how we interact with the world. In that layer can be other people, relationships, family, career and money because money is a form of exchange in this world. So no wonder money and relationships can be linked, they occupy the same energetic space within us and often overlap!

This can affect your partnerships with people, intimate relationships and even affect you if you’re not in a relationship.

Now, if you’re in a great relationship where money issues don’t impact on the dynamic between you, then FANTASTIC! Celebrate that! And certainly continue to do whatever you do… because it’s working for you.

However, if the issue of money does affect your relationship, either significantly or by ‘leaking in’ in little ways… here’s some insight for you.

And if you’re not in a relationship but would like to be in one, then it’s the perfect time to enquire into this issue so it does not hold you back in the future.

There are 4 main ‘families’ of  negative emotion that we can hold about money and these vary across a spectrum:

1.    Fear (this can range from extreme anxiety to medium-level worry to a niggly uncertainty or discomfort.)

2.    Anger (this can range from rage to frustration or impatience. Blame also creeps into this group.)

3.    Sadness (this can range from grief, a tragic feeling of lack or loss to a feeling of melancholy or disempowerment.)

4.    Embarrassment/Shame/Guilt (this is the mother of them all and can be a really difficult one to acknowledge as it touches on feelings of self-worth.)

Where’s the light in all this? Our true nature is full of peace, love, joy and wisdom. Please know that at your core you are NOT these feelings, you are much, much more. But yes, these feelings can cover up who we really are. We can start to identify with them and act out of them. So how do we move through this?

Firstly, by becoming aware of the feelings. Take time out, look within and ask yourself what emotions you are carrying about money. See if you can locate where in the body you are carrying these feelings. It could be around the belly area. The chest or heart area, the throat or up in the head. Or somewhere else completely. The feeling could move around between two areas or show up in one place.

This is REALLY important. When we identify what we are feeling (use the list above as a guide) and where in the body we are holding it we are already 50% along the way to letting it go.

The next step is to make an acknowledging statement to yourself about what the feeling is. It could be as simple as, “I feel shame around money”…..

Pause for a moment, see if anything else comes up. Then say to yourself that you would like to let it go. Simply breathe in and out of that area, visualising letting go of these old feelings and bringing in new energy. It could be in the form of light colours coming in and dark colours going out or however you like to imagine it. There are many techniques that can be used if the feeling is really ‘stuck’ but this is one of the simplest. Stick with this till you feel some kind of shift or lessening of feeling.

Finally, we inject into ourselves ‘massive amounts of acceptance’ or (my favourite) ‘ridiculous amounts of self-love’. (Easier said than done, I know!) This can be through positive affirmations, prayer, meditation, being in the present moment and many other techniques. (I could spend a whole blog just discussing this!)  Do what works for you.

Remember, feelings can come back again and again but each time we shine the light of awareness onto them we chip away at their hold over us…..and eventually they no longer bother us at all. And that’s real mastery of our inner world!

And if we can keep our inner world clear, imagine the space of clarity we can bring to our relationships and personal interactions.

I wish you well on your journey.

Feel free to contact me if you would like further information on any of the above.

Until next time,

Julia x